Tuesday, August 25, 2009

C.I.A. Guidelines for Interrogators

Cartoon courtesy the Times UK.



Click on pictures to zoom in.


Monday, August 24, 2009

Word Smith Muhammad Ali



John Hind of The Observer has compiled a list of sayings of the one of the greatest talkers, Muhammad Ali, published on Sunday 23 August 2009.

Here are some of my favorite:

Did I say that?

Before fighting George Foreman

I wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick (1974)

On his Parkinson's disease

It wasn't the boxing, it was the autographs (2003)

On Floyd Patterson

I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on (1965)

On being told "We don't serve negroes"

I don't eat them, either. Just give me a cup of coffee and a hamburger (1960)

On his golfing abilities

I'm the best. I just haven't played yet (1965)

To Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev

You ain't as dumb as you look (1978)

On mini-skirts and bikinis

Why do I want my wife to show off her panties when the wind blows? Horses show their behinds, and cows and mules, not humans (1974)

Offering car rides to white associates

Get in the back - it'll be like Driving Miss Daisy (1987)

On his last great goal

I want to be the first black man on the moon (1989)

On converting to Islam

I'm thankful for Elijah Muhummad [the preacher], because if it wasn't for him I'd be with some white woman. It's true, it's true (1975)

On his biggest battle

My toughest fight was with my first wife (1967)

On the two greatest boxers

The fight the world will never see for the title of "The Greatest" would be between Cassius Clay and Muhammad Ali (2004)

On fame

I'm the most recognised and loved man that ever lived (1963)

On his aura

If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plough, don't ask how - hitch him up (1970)

On work

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up (1965)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

He Did Say That!




It was a long absence. A year, to be exact. But, like a nightmare, it seemed a lot lot longer.

I was in what has lately become one of the worst countries on earth. May be the worst. Every bad thing that could happen to a country did happen to it in this one year.

To begin with Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. Her husband claimed he knew the names of the assassins but was not telling.

He did say that.

He himself and his cronies such as Rehman Malik are the beneficiaries. Go figure. No wonder he knows the names of those who murdered his wife.

He is polluting the place where Muhammad Ali Jinnah once sat.

The resources of the country and the money shamelessly borrowed from whoever is willing to lend, no matter under what conditions, are being plundered with nonchalant callousness and indecent haste.

Wolves in various shapes and garbs are pouncing at this country from inside and out with horrible ferociousness.

Bombs are exploding everywhere including the mosques and Christians are being burned alive. Suicide bombers are prowling the streets looking for targets.

Power outages are so long and so frequent and prices of commodities so high that the citizens have become sickos and are committing suicides, but after they kill their loved ones.

Army is bombarding and pounding its own people indiscriminately. Tens of millions of people have been turned out of their homes and are living in squalid conditions in makeshift camps.

I don't think I can even begin to count all the atrocities that are going on in there.

In short, we can safely call Pakistan of today a tome of horrors so full and complete that, it seems, not a single horror has been left out.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Haunted House on Mt. Pleasant



What a pity!

This large and elegant sea-facing mansion on a huge lot in a leafy lane called Mount Pleasant Road atop Malabar Hills built by one of the best architects of his time with marble imported from Italy and doors and other woodwork made out of walnut trees and once adored by its now dead owner lies in ruins replete with unwanted weeds and overgrown creepers and has blind bats hung upside down in its dark nooks and crannies and snakes slithering around undaunted as its only occupants.

At one point it rang with youthful laughter and its walls witnessed titans of Indian politics discussing the ways and means to fight a foreign nation to achieve a free, proud and self-governing country of their own.

Now this place is a haunted place - haunted by two bitterly rival nations and a bone of contention among the descendants of an estranged daughter and other blood and bloody relatives who can't even agree on who really is a true inheritor.

What a pity!

This palatial house was lovingly named 'South Court' by Muhammad Ali Jinnah, its owner. But, now, it is only called Jinnah House.

Don't you see a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions weaving through all the creations of Jinnah whether it is this house, his lovely wife Ruttie who died on her twenty ninth birthday, his daughter Dina who is pleading at age 88 in the court that Hindu and not the Islamic law of succession be applied on her father and she be given the possession of this house, and the benighted country he created through his sheer will?

I, for one, see a lot of resemblance in this house and Pakistan. Can you even imagine the height and extent of irony of Jinnah and Zardari governing the same country without feeling deadly pangs of pain?

He had dreamed of making Pakistan into an elegant sea-facing country on an leafy lane atop Mount Pleasant. But it has turned out to be a country festered with blind bats and hungry snakes who are devouring everything in their way.

I don't think one can save his house from crumbling on its foundations but can we save his country from ruin?

Happy birthday Haunted House!!!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Plant And Trees of Gakkhar


I don't think we, Pakistanis, care any more, for anything other than making lucre, trashing out cities and polluting out environment.

How far away we are gone from our roots and our childhood! Far, far, too far, indeed.

I am amazed how a nation calling itself devotees of the Religion of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) could prove itself to be so ignorant of two fundamental and elementary needs of humankind: nature - which is essential and vital for man's existence; and knowledge - which makes man perfect and accomplished.

The Quran started with the word IQRA - "to read" - and the Prophet made gaining knowledge mandatory for every Muslim - man and woman.

He is also reported to have said (to the effect) that If one sees Last Day (Qiamat) coming and he has a seedling or a plant in his hand he better plant it in soil before he himself perishes.

Since I have come back from abroad after living there for 20 years, I go out and see miserably sad condition of some of the trees and plants I used to enjoy as a child. Then these trees were just wonders to watch. Now, they look a picture of gloom and sorrow. Dreadfully parched, drying, dying or dead.

Especially Tahli - Dalbergia sissoo (called sheesham in Urdu )is in extremely pathetic condition. Huge trees of this wonderful species are standing lifeless and still - mourning tearless at their own demise. Not a shoot to be seen on their listless hollow and bug-eaten bodies.

For how long we can turn our indifferent backs on without pushing our own health, well-being and even existence into the abyss of peril? If this shameless condition of negligence continues unabated, I believe, before we know it, the whole species is going to go on the way the dodo and so do we.

Nobody in this plighted country seems to be doing anything about it - or for anything else - for that matter. Whosoever I have talked to so far has either shrugged off, shown least interest or knows nothing about what is happening.

To tress and to him!

I will try to put some "sketchy" information accompanied with some pictures of plants and trees, to build my own knowledge base of plants and trees around my city. At the same my this blog may bring a little awareness in others. May be!


I tried, over the Internet, to look around to find any information about flora of the Punjab or Pakistan but I could not find a single - nada, none, zilch - website devoted to flora of these pathetic regions.

Even Wickipedia's page regarding this subject is so poorly organized and incoherently written that one is embarrassed to even look at it.

This blog could be a start - a baby step.

The trees are God's great alphabet:
With them He writes in shining green
Across the world His thoughts serene.


~Leonora Speyer

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb